Mississhippi's Madness

A place to share my creative pursuits

‘How are you?’ just means Hello

13 Comments

I’m a pretty private person and don’t go blabbing all my personal business all over the net. I get on with the things in my life and they sometimes make me step back from my artistic and creative endeavours – a bit more than I like of late.

I’ve been living with arthritis (ankylosing spondylitis to be exact) since I was 13 years old (thirty years now). I grew up in a family of hypochondriacs – if you asked one of my aunts/great aunts/grandparents how they were, you found out how they were in all the gory details, and they compared and tried to better each others’ illnesses. That was my norm as a child.

I grew up believing that when someone said ‘How are you?’ they really wanted to know, in detail, until a girlfriend of mine in the early years of high school (it’s always in high school isn’t it) said “When I say How are you? I don’t want to know how you are!” It was quite confronting and I took it to heart. She was right and she was brave enough to say it.

‘How are you?’ just means ‘Hello’ to most people

Howru

I have some close friends who I will talk to when I’m feeling down or overwhelmed and they are the best support a gal could have. My husband is the best support of all and I wouldn’t make it through some days without him. My daughter is a source of ‘get up and keep going’ and of joy and laughter. She makes me get well cards, and free hug cards, and I love you cards when I really need them.

In the last six months or so I have had a list of things go wrong with my health that have just frustrated the heck out of me. I’ve had to take time and slow down and pull back from some of the things I love to do. Crochet has been a life line – something I could do whilst resting and feel like I had accomplished something. Playing with soft pastels isn’t really doable in situations like that.

“Being optimistic isn’t always being happy.
It is taking what the world throws at you and saying
‘I’m not going to let this get me down.'”
-from ‘Nhan Fiction’

So, today, whilst I am still under the effects of wearing off anaesthetic from a day surgery procedure, I sat down at my PC to write and share a little bit of what my life is like right now. (Normally you wouldn’t hear a peep out of me πŸ™‚ )

But if someone asks me tomorrow ‘How are you?’, my answer will be ‘I’m fine, thanks, how are you?’

Oh, and by the way, I do want to know.

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Author: Elaine

Artist, writer, married, mother, living with Ankylosing Spondylitis and winning (most of the time). My creative impulses have led me to drawing, pastel painting, writing, handcrafts and photography.

13 thoughts on “‘How are you?’ just means Hello

  1. I’m good. Thanks for asking:)

  2. Nice thoughts Elaine! This post has given me a lot to think about. Get well soon!

    • Thanks Adriana. I’m fine (not just saying it!) but I think with anything chronic it can get you down sometimes and it is good to talk it out.

  3. I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t been well Elaine. Wish you get well soon.
    I know well what it means to have to deal with health issues from a very young age. God bless physicians for making pain killers!

    • I don’t often talk about having a chronic illness – people really don’t want to hear about it, but sometimes when I’m feeling particularly frustrated I just have to speak out. I’m fine, just one of those days.

  4. Glad you’re feeling better, Elaine.. hope you find a way to ease the symptoms, somehow.

    • The symptoms are under control really, just the fall out from a decrepit immune system is the thing I have to cope with most often. Very frustrating!

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